Saturday, August 4, 2007

Hear Me Out


Yeah, you’ve all been talking about it. I used someone else’s joke. What’s the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.

Mission accomplished.

Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused.

If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not too. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.

Let’s not forget, “Hibachi” was stolen too. Brendan Haywood used to say it before me. But I recognize good stuff and make it popular. Now “Hibachi” is patented by Agent Zero, son.

I’m not a thief, I just reused it.

Know who is a thief? The guy that is trying to sell the domain name of GilbertArenas.com to me. It’s my name! I have to buy it back from him. Now that’s stealing, borrowing, whatever you want to call it.

I mean they were even talking about it on PTI. Patrick McEnroe was saying I should quit making jokes about sharks and worry about rehabbing. Patrick, you’re right, I should be focusing on my knee. I guess taking 15 minutes to tell a joke doesn’t leave 23 hours and 45 minutes the rest of the day to be working on my knee. Rome was killing me too, but Rome’s my boy so I can’t say anything bad about him.

Patty Mac, shouldn’t you be “focusing” on talking about real sports that are going on? I didn’t realize that telling jokes can get me on PTI. I should do it more often.

Did you hear the one about the monkey and the dog …

I would finish the joke, but I already spent too much time on this post and need to get back to the gym according to McEnroe.

Before I do though, I’m going to go play with my new pet. It’s called a “liger.” It’s a cross between a tiger and a lion. I made it up. Man, I’m so original.

(Yes, I stole that from Napoleon Dynamite. Rent it. It’s funny.)

Oh yeah, Bow Wow gave me a shout out on my jeans, Fly Jeans, in his new song with B-5 so I just wanted to give him a shout out too.

taken from nba.com

Basketball without Borders Americas Day 3 Recap


SAO PAULO, BRAZIL., August 2, 2007 - The third day of BWB Americas began with a special Life Skills Seminar focusing on the Character and Qualities of a Leader, led by Conectas. Campers learned about essential skills to becoming a leader, while keeping true to teamwork and sportsmanship. Team practices continued later in the day, revolving around core basketball skills.

In the afternoon, approximately 50 coaches from across Brazil were invited to participate in a Coaches Clinic led by Phil Webber of the Phoenix Suns. The clinic focused on key basketball skills and provided participating coaches an insight to NBA training techniques.

Meanwhile, NBA players and coaches continued their commitment to community outreach by participating in an NBA Cares Legacy Project, the league’s premiere outreach activity, where a state-of-art Learn & Play Center was dedicated at Coliseu Favela in Sao Paulo. In partnership with Nike, CUFA (Central Unica das Favelas) and Rede Jovem (Youth Net), the NBA donated two newly refurbished basketball courts and a multimedia room with 15 laptop computers donated by Lenovo.

To inaugurate the new facility, a dedication ceremony, featuring current and former NBA players and coaches, was held at the site with the Coliseu community. The event featured local entertainment, including Capoeira dancers, who were joined by Leandro Barbosa, an expert in the rhythmic folklore. The Legacy Project generated significant media coverage with a total of 25 members of the media in attendance including some of the country’s most important outlets such as: TV Globo, ESPN, TV Gazeta, TV Esporte Interativo, Folha de Sao Paulo, Estado de Sao Paulo, Lance, Globoesporte.com, Terra.com and Gazeta Esportiva.

As part of the NBA’s commitment to building long-term projects that help develop kids in underserved areas, the courts and multimedia room will be staffed by Rede Jovem with basketball coaches and tutors, respectively, for a full year following the dedication ceremony. To date, the NBA and its teams have created 185 places to live, learn and play globally, 45 of which are outside of the United States.

The busy day ended on a high note with team scrimmages at Esporte Clube Pinheiros.

taken from nba.com

Dennis Johnson


For a guy who sat on the bench in his senior year of high school and was barely noticed by college recruiters, Dennis Johnson was an unlikely NBA hero. A born fighter who didn't have the greatest natural skills, Johnson battled his way from mediocrity as a prep player to greatness as a pro.

During his 13-year playing career with the Seattle SuperSonics, the Phoenix Suns, and the Boston Celtics, Johnson established himself as one of the best defensive guards in the league. "D.J." combined his bulk with rocket-launcher legs to frequently win battles against players nearly a foot taller.

His quick hands and feet made him a constant threat to strip the ball from opponents. He always seemed to be in the middle of the action. He could post up, crash the boards for rebounds and tip-ins, hit from the outside and lead the fast break. And he could pass with the best of the league's playmakers.

Johnson was named to five All-Star teams and nine straight All-Defensive Teams. He was a member of three NBA championship squads, and his postseason heroics earned him a reputation as a money player. He was imbued with a contagious competitiveness. "I'm a winner," he once said. "I put my heart into the game. I hate to lose. I accept it when it comes, but I still hate it. That's the way I am."

The glamour of NBA stardom was a long way from Johnson's childhood in Compton, Calif. He was the eighth of 16 children, the son of a bricklayer and a social worker. Johnson's father, who was not a great shooter, taught young Dennis the ropes of the game. (Johnson would later joke that this explained his somewhat erratic jump shot.)

As a 5-9 guard at Dominguez High School, Johnson played only a minute or two each game. After graduation the coach at Harbor Junior College saw him playing street ball, noticed his tough defense, and asked him to enroll. Johnson traded in his warehouse job for the classroom. Two years later and seven inches taller, Johnson averaged 18.3 points and 12.0 rebounds and keyed Harbor to a state junior college title.

Johnson received only two scholarship offers, from Pepperdine and Azusa Pacific. He packed his bags for Malibu. In his only season at Pepperdine, Johnson averaged 15.7 points and helped the Waves crack the Top 20 and make the NCAA Tournament. Playing tough defense, Pepperdine beat Memphis State and then put a scare into UCLA at Pauley Pavilion. In that game Johnson was all over slick Bruins playmaker Andre McCarter. Seattle scouts excitedly scribbled notes about the rough-and-tumble guard who jumped center. After that season Johnson applied as a hardship case for the 1976 NBA Draft.

Doubtful that any pro team would be interested in him, Johnson was shocked when the SuperSonics made him their second-round pick. Already in the Seattle backcourt were Don "Slick" Watts and "Downtown" Freddie Brown. Johnson barely made the team. He scored 9.2 points per game in limited duty as a rookie.

Then a coaching shakeup gave Johnson his big break. Bill Russell left after the 1976-77 season, and replacement Bob Hopkins lasted only 22 games in 1977-78. In stepped Lenny Wilkens to take over the 5-17 team. Wilkens promptly traded Watts, gave Johnson a starting job paired with the smooth Gus Williams, and directed Seattle to an immediate 12-game home winning streak. The Sonics finished at 47-35 and bolted into the NBA Finals against the Washington Bullets after eliminating the Los Angeles Lakers, the defending NBA champion Portland Trail Blazers, and the Denver Nuggets. Seattle squandered a three-games-to-two lead against the Bullets and lost in seven games.

Johnson and the Sonics would not be denied the next year. Johnson improved his scoring to 15.9 points per game and made his first appearances on both the All-Star and All-Defensive teams. In a rematch against the Bullets in the 1979 NBA Finals, Seattle dropped the first contest but won the next four to claim the team's first championship. Johnson, who scored 32 points in a Game 4 overtime victory, was named Finals MVP.

In 1979-80 Johnson pumped in 19.0 points per game, the second-highest scoring average of his career. He made his second All-Star Game appearance, and he was named to both the All-NBA Second Team and the NBA All-Defensive First Team. The Sonics fell off their championship pedestal, however, losing to the Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. After the season the Sonics traded Johnson to the Phoenix Suns for All-Star guard Paul Westphal.

In his first year in Phoenix, Johnson guided the Suns to a Pacific Division title over the Lakers. He averaged 18.8 points that year and was selected to the All-NBA First Team, joining Julius Erving, Larry Bird,Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and George Gervin. The Suns were upset by the Kansas City Kings in the conference semifinals.

In 1981-82 Johnson tallied a career-high 19.5 ppg. He made his fourth straight All-Star Game appearance and continued to terrorize the league with his voracious defense. After tailing off a bit in 1982-83 to 14.2 points per game, Johnson was traded to Boston for Rick Robey. The 6-11 Robey played only three more years, peaking at a mere 5.6 points per game in 1983-84. Johnson, meanwhile, went on to achieve more stardom and win two championships during his seven seasons with the Celtics.

Johnson's steadiness helped bind together a team of stars that included Bird, Robert Parish and Kevin McHale. In his first year in Boston the Celtics won their 15th NBA title, and in his third year they won their 16th. Johnson's postseason heroics -- his shutting down of Magic Johnson in the 1984 Finals; his buzzer-beating jumper to win Game 4 in the 1985 Finals against the Lakers; and his game-winning basket off Larry Bird's steal in Game 5 of the 1987 conference finals against Detroit -- placed him among the best-loved Celtics.

Johnson retired at age 35 after the 1989-90 season as the 11th player in NBA history to amass more than 15,000 points and 5,000 assists. In Sports Illustrated, teammate Bird, who was not known for lightly tossing around compliments, called Johnson "the best I've ever played with."

Johnson stayed on as a scout for the Celtics and became an assistant coach in 1993 and became an assistant with the Los Angeles Clippers in February 2000. He also was a head coach for the Austin Toros in the NBA Development League.

Dennis Johnson died after coaching a practice with the Toros suffering from cardiac arrest on Feb. 22, 2007. He was 52 years old.

taken from nba.com